My Origin Story
Growing up in a small suburban town in upstate New York as the child of Indian parents, I was surrounded by the pressure to succeed. Like many Asian immigrant children, I was raised with expectations for high achievement, and my acceptance was often tied to my performance as a student and a son. This pressure to succeed academically was compounded by the challenge of finding my place between my traditional Indian culture at home and the postmodern American culture I encountered outside.
Eventually, I managed to attain the quintessential Indian-American dream, thriving in the startup and tech industries and contributing to the innovation of the future. However, this external success did not bring me the sense of fulfillment and happiness I had hoped for.
The Symptoms
On the path to external success, I had become an expert at denying my deeper emotional experience through avoidance and addictions. I was completely consumed by addictions to alcohol and cannabis while struggling in my relationships and lacking true connection. Despite my professional success, I was unfulfilled and unbalanced.
At that moment, something shifted. I had an intuition that my entire operating system needed an update and that my subconscious patterns of addiction, avoidance, overwork, and procrastination needed to change.
The Great Search
As I journeyed down the path of self-discovery and improvement, I tried so many different approaches to healing and growing. I was a life hacker, always seeking out the latest self-improvement podcasts and strategies. I took up Vipassana meditation and followed leaders in entrepreneurship like Tim Ferris, hoping to find the secret to unlocking greater success and happiness. I even delved into the world of psychedelics, participating in Ayahuasca ceremonies that took me deep into my psyche to confront my underlying trauma and wounding.
I was determined to find the connections and relationships that my heart yearned for, so I explored authentic relating and circling, learning new ways to form meaningful relationships. These efforts paid off in many ways - I was able to overcome my most intense addictions, I started taking better care of my body and mind, and I even formed deeper friendships and romantic relationships.
Despite this growth and progress, my patterns of self-doubt and destructive behavior persisted. Even with all the self-improvement I had tried, I still felt like I was missing a key piece to the puzzle.
The Real Problem
During a session with my first coach, I had a breakthrough moment of understanding, where I was finally able to see how my deepest desires, my ayahuasca journeys, and my everyday struggles were all connected.
I realized I had been identified in a paradigm of self-improvement, where every desire for change and growth was ultimately based on the belief that I wasn't enough. Once I realized this, I started to see myself and the world around me in a whole new way. I saw that we are all complete beings with everything we need to grow, flourish, and thrive already within us. Instead of being my own self-improvement project, I began seeing people as acorns in different stages of being an oak tree – fully complete at each stage. All that is needed is to step into the role of an arborist, creating the ideal conditions for the tree to unfold.
Through this new lens, I've been able to tap into a deep well of inner resources and boundless creativity.
What I Know Now
I have had the pleasure of learning so many modalities of coaching, therapy, and interpersonal relating. I have also had the honor of guiding and supporting hundreds of people through their most profound psychedelic journeys. Coming out the other side, I've come to realize that there are certain universal experiences we all go through when it comes to self-love, acceptance, and sovereignty. These are fundamental aspects of our lives that often require deeper awareness and healing and each person’s journey through them is wholly unique.
I know now our world is a reflection of who we are willing to be. The events happening around us may be beyond our control, but how we experience and participate in those events is always a choice. And this choice is rooted in our identity. Our experience of the world is a direct result of who we believe ourselves to be.
That's why, as a coach, I help my clients shift their perspective from "Who am I?" to "Who am I willing to be?" And oftentimes, our blocks in creating what we want in the world often arise from contradicting versions of who we are willing to be in the world. These contradicting versions of ourselves often arise as a way of protecting us, and they can be incredibly clever and creative, but ultimately unhelpful solutions to the challenges we face. That's why we approach these issues with gentleness and compassion while remaining committed to the truth. At the core when we claim our creative authority and become more conscious of our identity choices, we can experience life in a completely new and aligned way.